whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
