the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
