Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
