She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
