I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
