I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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