I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
