bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
