Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
