you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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