p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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