Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
