Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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