just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude i'm inner monologue high
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
