is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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