I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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