Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
