# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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