All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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