I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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