I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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