Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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