K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
