Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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