Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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