I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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