I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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