It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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