so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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