I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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