i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
