she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
