Non-Jews are for practice
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Even my vagina gasped.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The power of my boobs compel you
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
