Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Jerry, you need to find god
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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