haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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