She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
