Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize