i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
