Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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