if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
