well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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