Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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