Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
me + whiskey = a bad person
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
