so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have fence marks all over my body
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
