At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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