i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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