you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
