i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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