ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
