I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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