I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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