Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
