I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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