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You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
