Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
