I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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