What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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