Already got asked if we're dating
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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