that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
