btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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