You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I want her autograph on my taint
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
