She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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