Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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