before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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