Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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