So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
