i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
