I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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